Today we're coming to you live from Vancouver... oh wait no we're not.
*Ahem*
Today we're coming to you live from Cecily's Kitchen of Horrors; where recipes are frequently read incorrectly and food is consistently ruined!
The top story of the day: Chicken Squares gone bad.
The fact that Cecily's interpretation of chicken squares look nothing like squares was hardly the worst thing about her poor attempt at cooking them. Her good intentions of signing up at church last Sunday to bring dinner to a family with a brand new baby was swallowed up in a gross lack of preparation and poor reading skills.
She found herself racing through the grocery store late Friday afternoon, dodging old women and workers on ladders alike to grab last minute ingredients.
After rushing home, she threw various items in a pot, and paused only a moment as she questioned the large amount of garlic the recipe called for; three tablespoons.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, how would you like three tablespoons of dried garlic in your chicken squares tonight? I thought so.
You may ask yourself why she was so rushed and as such failed to notice that it was actually dried onions required for the recipe. Well, she was due to go visiting teaching at 5 and dinner was needed at 6.
So, she set an alarm for her poor napping husband with instructions on how to finish the dish by putting them in the oven and mixing up the gravy.
It was not until, while out visting teaching, she got a text message from her loving and diligent husband who informed her that she had used garlic. When she called him on her way home, he was at L and L Hawaiian Barbeque getting food for the family that could have been unsuspecting victims of garlic overdose.
Tune in next week for and exciting report on how to burn everything; taking special examples from Cecily's horrific past mistakes including burnt cookies, burnt pizza, and burnt pancakes. Until then, Happy Cooking!
Okay, but seriously? Garlic? How stupid am I? Wanna know the worst part? The "squares" are in the oven as I type, because we decided we might as well bake them and see how they taste. Most likely awful. Our house smells.
I made peanut butter sandwich cookies a week ago to take to Matt's intramural basketball game. One girl told me it tasted like watermelon. Watermelon? It's a peanut butter cookie!!!
THREE TABLESPOONS OF GARLIC POWDER.
Okay, in other exciting LewsNews Matt recently returned from San Francisco where he presented research with some of his lab partners at a Bio Physics Convention of some kind (aka: nerd gathering). He returned bearing Ghirardelli chocolate and two bread bowls and two cans of clam chowder from Boudin's. Wonderful husband? Yes. He also brought me back an official nerd t-shirt complete with yellow tie-dye. Awesome.
Cecily has slowly begun her relationship with running again. This week's grand total mileage so far: six! Two miles every other day. Is she super slow? Yes! Does she look like a whale out of water? Yes! Can the old guy who breathes funny beat her on the indoor track? Yes! (Seriously, it sounded like he was in labor)
Speaking of racing, I believe that sometimes when people see me in track gear or with my track backpack on, they inevitably try to race walk with me. It's very annoying. Last week, I was race-walked home three times. Matt says I make it up. I say bring it on home-walkers, bring it on.
Walking to and from school can be very interesting. On one unnaturally warm day for a Utah winter, I saw a boy in shorts and a t-shirt and a ski mask walking past the tennis courts. Was his face cold? If it had been dark, I definitely would have been scared. Also, a few days ago I saw a man running, through the rain, pushing a baby in a stroller that was defnintely not meant for high speeds, with a screaming child inside. I felt bad for him, but I mostly was laughing. That will probably come back to bite me one day.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed today's episode. Time to go taste the garlic crescent chicken squares.
*Ahem*
Today we're coming to you live from Cecily's Kitchen of Horrors; where recipes are frequently read incorrectly and food is consistently ruined!
The top story of the day: Chicken Squares gone bad.
The fact that Cecily's interpretation of chicken squares look nothing like squares was hardly the worst thing about her poor attempt at cooking them. Her good intentions of signing up at church last Sunday to bring dinner to a family with a brand new baby was swallowed up in a gross lack of preparation and poor reading skills.
She found herself racing through the grocery store late Friday afternoon, dodging old women and workers on ladders alike to grab last minute ingredients.
After rushing home, she threw various items in a pot, and paused only a moment as she questioned the large amount of garlic the recipe called for; three tablespoons.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, how would you like three tablespoons of dried garlic in your chicken squares tonight? I thought so.
You may ask yourself why she was so rushed and as such failed to notice that it was actually dried onions required for the recipe. Well, she was due to go visiting teaching at 5 and dinner was needed at 6.
So, she set an alarm for her poor napping husband with instructions on how to finish the dish by putting them in the oven and mixing up the gravy.
It was not until, while out visting teaching, she got a text message from her loving and diligent husband who informed her that she had used garlic. When she called him on her way home, he was at L and L Hawaiian Barbeque getting food for the family that could have been unsuspecting victims of garlic overdose.
Tune in next week for and exciting report on how to burn everything; taking special examples from Cecily's horrific past mistakes including burnt cookies, burnt pizza, and burnt pancakes. Until then, Happy Cooking!
Okay, but seriously? Garlic? How stupid am I? Wanna know the worst part? The "squares" are in the oven as I type, because we decided we might as well bake them and see how they taste. Most likely awful. Our house smells.
I made peanut butter sandwich cookies a week ago to take to Matt's intramural basketball game. One girl told me it tasted like watermelon. Watermelon? It's a peanut butter cookie!!!
THREE TABLESPOONS OF GARLIC POWDER.
Okay, in other exciting LewsNews Matt recently returned from San Francisco where he presented research with some of his lab partners at a Bio Physics Convention of some kind (aka: nerd gathering). He returned bearing Ghirardelli chocolate and two bread bowls and two cans of clam chowder from Boudin's. Wonderful husband? Yes. He also brought me back an official nerd t-shirt complete with yellow tie-dye. Awesome.
Cecily has slowly begun her relationship with running again. This week's grand total mileage so far: six! Two miles every other day. Is she super slow? Yes! Does she look like a whale out of water? Yes! Can the old guy who breathes funny beat her on the indoor track? Yes! (Seriously, it sounded like he was in labor)
Speaking of racing, I believe that sometimes when people see me in track gear or with my track backpack on, they inevitably try to race walk with me. It's very annoying. Last week, I was race-walked home three times. Matt says I make it up. I say bring it on home-walkers, bring it on.
Walking to and from school can be very interesting. On one unnaturally warm day for a Utah winter, I saw a boy in shorts and a t-shirt and a ski mask walking past the tennis courts. Was his face cold? If it had been dark, I definitely would have been scared. Also, a few days ago I saw a man running, through the rain, pushing a baby in a stroller that was defnintely not meant for high speeds, with a screaming child inside. I felt bad for him, but I mostly was laughing. That will probably come back to bite me one day.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed today's episode. Time to go taste the garlic crescent chicken squares.
Great, now you've got me wanting some chicken squares! Too bad I can't find the recipe. Sounds like you and Matt will be smelling like garlic for quite some time. They'll love you at church tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteWhat's up with the 3rd person narrative? There are psychological insights that are being revealed by it. :)
Cec,
ReplyDeleteLove the blogs but you have to blame the passing out thing on your Anut Peggy and the cutting your finger thing on your Aunt Sandy. Those two are the queens of that junk. I'm minor compared to them!
Your blog is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteSo glad I finally found it.
Loves.
Whitney